So, I have a situation. I have an acquaintance, we’ll call them W. I’ve known W for about 3 1/2, 4 years. W, in my uneducated opinion, is probably bipolar. He goes through these phases where he’s violently aggressive and angry (aggressive towards his workstation/computer, angry at everyone). Then he has other days where everything is great and wonderful and everyone’s his best friend. The angry days far outnumber the good ones.
W and I, we used to be pretty good friends. We hung out a lot, I got along with his then-girlfriend, we have a lot in common. And then he got engaged, and he got angry. The closer it got to his wedding, the worse he got. And once he got married, holy shit. Everything is doom & gloom and the world is shit, woe is me. And still with the anger. We are now coming up on his first anniversary, and every day is a new adventure. Nobody knows if he’s going to be happy or pissed. Everyone walks on egg shells around him so as not to set him off. It’s ridiculous. I can’t believe this goes on in my daily life, but it does.
I’ve tried not to let it affect me, but it has. Yesterday was the boiling point. Thank goodness I had the afternoon off, because I needed it for mental health reasons. W screamed at me, in front of several other people, in an extremely uncalled for manner. I was so embarrassed at that moment, I didn’t know what to do. I was stunned. Speechless. If you know me, you know how rare this is.
Like I said, I let it get to me. It really caused me to not enjoy my afternoon off. My husband didn’t know what to do, because I was just not myself. I was physically shaken by the whole thing. And so I spent the evening, and as I went to sleep last night, and I thought about the entire situation. How this problem has been festering and growing for over a year. And I decided that it was time to grow a set of balls and do something about it.
So, when I woke up this morning, I made a decision. I decided that I would let him decide what kind of day we were going to have, and we would have that kind of day. I am no longer molly-coddling and tiptoeing around because “OMG it might upset Special Snowflake”. Fuck that shit. I’m done letting him bring me down. So today, when the first words out of his mouth to me were a bunch of smart ass, snarky, critical comments, I replied with the first snarky, critical words that came out of my mouth. And everyone around us dropped their jaws and just stared at me. I told him, right there, the following:
“I am tired. I am tired of always tiptoeing around you. I am tired of your attitude. I am tired of the way you treat me and everyone else. I am done with letting your anger and negativity bring me down and affect me on my time. From here on out, I am going to treat you the way you treat me. The choice is yours. We can have angry, hateful days, or we can have happy, fun days. It is 100% up to you.”
We will see what happens. I know I’m not the only one in our circle who feels like this. I just finally had enough and said something.