DISCLAIMER: This rant is in no way, shape, or form directed toward service animals. That’s a whole different ball of wax. Service animals are wonderful, wonderful creatures and I would never say anything bad about them or their owners. This rant is directed towards people who consider their dogs to be an accessory. You know who you are, LADY AT DIERBERG’S FOUR SEASONS IN CHESTERFIELD.
I was walking into the grocery store today when I saw two women and a young-ish teenage girl walking out. The girl had the skankiest looking little furball of a dog in her hands. Generally, I would just shake my head in disgust and carry on with my business. This time, though, I said something. I guess because no one had pissed me off at work and given me the opportunity to bitch about something…who knows. Either way, this time, I stopped and I said something. I asked them “Did you really have that dog in the store? The grocery store? With all of the food?” The two women sort of giggled and shrugged it off, and one of them said “Well, she had it in her hands the entire time.” I replied “That’s not even remotely the point here. The point is that you are not supposed to bring a dog into the grocery store, or any other other store except Petco, unless it’s a service animal. It’s rude, it’s unsanitary, it’s dangerous to people who might have deathly allergies. It also shows that you have zero consideration for people other than yourselves, and it’s a terrible example you’re setting for your daughter, just flouting the rules because you want to.” The woman rolled her eyes at me and said “Well, excuse me!” I told her “No. I do not excuse you. You’re rude and inconsiderate, and there’s no excuse for that” and I walked into the store.
A man who had been behind me, and who watched this interaction with what I can only describe as hope in his eyes (CATFIGHT! OOOH CATFIGHT!), tapped me on the shoulder in the deli department and said “That was a rather ballsy thing of you to do, ma’am. But I’m glad you did it.”
Was I in the wrong? I mean, really. Your dog is NOT an accessory,it’s a pet. Dogs don’t want to go to the grocery, they really don’t. I can guarantee you, if you asked that dog if it wanted to be grocery shopping, it would have said “Fuck you, where’s my couch? I need to pee, I need a treat, this is bullshit.” And don’t get me wrong. I LOVE DOGS. I do. I’ve had them my whole life. There are a variety of reasons why Jimmy and I don’t have a dog right now, though. We live in a small, 1 BR apartment, just over 500 sq ft. We don’t have room for a dog. We also have 3 cats, all 3 of whom are not fans of their canine counterparts. I work full time, Jimmy has a lot of physical restrictions, it’s just not a good idea for us to have a dog at this time.
But I surely can guarantee you that if we did have a dog, that dog would NEVER go to the grocery store with me. I have some respect for the rules, and the rules say pets shouldn’t be in the grocery store. So do us all a favor and leave Fifi and Fluffy the fuck at home. Where they want to be in the first place. I promise.